Thanks to the great "inter-webs" as a friend calls them, there are less than conventional ways to meet guys. I met Monkey Boy on a dating website.
We met for coffee, that's innocent enough right? Our conversation flowed easily. Physically, he was a tall, slim, dark featured handsome guy. We were the same age and no kids. The coffee went so well that I agreed to a date. We had dinner at a local restaurant together and again, so far so good.
For our second date, he offered to cook me dinner at his place and to watch a movie. I thought this was very charming. In previous conversations, he stated that he had recently purchased this townhome.
I remember the night air being cool and nervously knocking on his door, questioning myself just how safe was it to be having dinner at his place on the second day? Was my outfit appropriate? Wondering what we were having for dinner? What movie? ( I have a neurotic mind.) Double checking where my phone was in my bag; my roommate was on stand-by if I needed an "emergency" to bail.
He opened the door with a warm smile and I could smell delicious fragrants of dinner cooking. As I stepped into his den area, I took in my surroundings. Ahead of me was a stairway, to my left the den and that flowed into the dining and kitchen area. A large flat screen decorated the back wall. The side wall was covered in shelves filled with movies. To my left was a big comfy couch, something stood out in the corner of my eye. I remember turning my head while we exchanging out greeting conversation. Picture a reclining sofa, you know the kind with the console in the middle---the sides are so wide that two people can snuggle up. On the right side of this sofa was the largest stuffed Curious George I had ever seen. This monkey took up literally half of the sofa. Its eyes seemed to mock the very prescence of me being there---as if to say there's only room for one of us here.
And as my scan continued onto the movies, there were other smaller stuffed monkeys---Curious George and that Angry Monkey from Family Guy. Also, the entire collection of Curious George cartoons ordained the shelves. I think my date at this point noticed my attention diverted and stated that he was a big Curious George fan as a child and that over the years people kept contributing to his collection. At this point my mind is trying to rationalize a grown man having this out...I come to the conclusion that this is his first place on his own post divorce and that maybe he was enjoying being able to display this "collection."
As he wrapped up cooking dinner, I noticed another collection in the dining room, it was model corvettes. I concluded in my mind that he was just the collections kinda guy, no big deal. There was a monkey vegetable peeler on his kitchen counter and I remember thinking, he really likes those monkeys.
After dinner, before the movie my date wanted to give me a tour. He was very proud and excited to show me the rest of the place. We went up the stairs and on the left was the extra bedroom he told me he was thinking about renting out. On the right was his bedroom. Large bedroom furniture filled the room. A bathroom connected to the bedroom and then into the hallway by another door. I stepped inside...and to my surprise...more monkeys...they were everywhere! No really, I mean everywhere, the shower curtain, the rug, the toothbrush holder and cup...monkeys and bananas oh my!
I didn't know what to say except something to the effect of "wow what a playful bathroom you have." To which he replied, "yeah I found this set and just had to get it."
My mind was swarming...where was my damn cell phone?! Crap it's in my purse on the dining room table chair. Should I stay or should I go?! Someone was cueing the song in my head. I concluded I would leave, I had already stated I was tired and had been yawning. Why be rude and fall asleep during a movie right? I told him of my decision to leave and he seemed slightly disappointed but understood. I had my purse on my shoulder and was thanking him for cooking me dinner and then it happened.
He went in for a kiss and I remember being slightly taken off guard and my hand falling back to rest on the banister. You know how pitiful a caught fish flaps on a hot deck after you've caught it right? That's what was happening in my mouth! I quickly ended this awkward flapping of the tongue kiss and concluded the night with Monkey Boy.
